By Emily
My name is Emily and I love holidays.
Last year I went to golden bay with my nana and pop. In there (their) caravan we stayed 4 days it was lots of fun.
Iv also been to Wellington with my mum wen I was a baby. I cant remember the trip but I wish I cood (could) and I have been to piton (Picton). there was a big pool wear (where) I stayed there.
Your writing is improving Emily. I've organised your writing into paragraphs but it was you who wrote about two main ideas and added the interesting details for each idea.
ReplyDeleteWork on giving the reader more information in the intro (what holidays are you goin to write about, when, where?). Keep giving the writer the details of what happened.
Teach
Yes, good post Emily. I'd like to hear about your trip to Golden Bay. Where did you go what did you do? I like Golden Bay.
ReplyDelete