Bump! Bump! Bang! Crash!

By Marcus

Zoom! Swirv just out the way of a car. Lucky I'm learning cycle safety at Stoke School. Cycle Safety at Stoke School is when one of our police, konstable Garland comes over with some helpers and does some cycling skills with us to kep us safe on the road.

Bump! Bump! Bang! Crash! I just fallen off the ramp track that Mr Klark has built for us. Mr Klark is one of konstable Garlands helpers and has only one leg. They say it was bitten off by a crocadile. Thats the second time I fell off that track and now I must do it because soon we swap over. Hey I think I will try it on gear 1-1. Now I am up! Hey this is so easy! Now I will try standing up the whole way over the sea-saw. Speed! Speed! Whoosh! Bump! Now that was magnificent!

Oh oohh! This looks hard! But now is the only time to do it. We have to go through an S shaped track that you have to turn really sharply through. I am doing it, doing it bump! I just bumped over the last cone. It felt quite funny actually.

I feel that cycle safety is a very helpful thing. I hope people always listen to a police mani if one comes to teach.

xxxxxxx

This is a writing test. Students were given 45 minutes to plan and draft a story recounting the best, or worst, thing that happened to them during Cycle Safety. The stories are assessed as 'draft writing' for how well they have been written for 'readers' understanding' and 'readers' interest'.

Readers' Understanding:

1. Grammar (making sense).
2. Accurate spelling.
3. Accurate punctuation
4. Background information (making sense).

Readers' Interest:

1. Writes about one main idea in detail at a time.
2. Uses descriptive language.
3. Uses language features (expressive language).
4. Uses personal comments.

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