Hello druming fans if your reading this you are listening to the famous drumer.Our druming teacher is Pauly but his real name is Paul.He is pro at druming like me.We can play for hours if we wanted to but we cant because we have to take turns so everyone can have a turn.Paul is the best druming teacher out of all the schools, he teaches the best school ever Stoke School. There are thousands of amazing students doing druming at our school.Druming is my favourite thing to do.
This is a picture of me doing the drums!!!
By Ciarna
Go Ciarna!!! Smash those drums now.
ReplyDeleteAn attention grabbing start to the beginning sentence but how am I listening to "the famous drummer"? Expressive use of language but the introduction is mixed up with everything else and it seems like you've listed thoughts as you thought of them rather than choosing to write about one main idea, adding interesting details, at a time.
ReplyDeleteTeach
hey ciarna i realy like your title and yes paul is a good drum teacher.
ReplyDelete