29 Mar 2012

Rubby World Cup.

My name is Emily and I love rubby I was thrilled when fond out that the All blacks had won the wold cup. when I woched it on tv I made a All blacks flag out of paper. my dad seremed at the tv when the All blacks did ther last kick. after thay won Richey Micore haled up the cup to show the crowed. evrey won claped I hope the All blacks win it nexed time.  by Emily.
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4 comments:

  1. Eleven On-Line29 March 2012 at 11:09

    good job Emily

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  2. Eleven On-Line29 March 2012 at 11:10

    i love the colour but wright more bye hayley

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  3. Unknown29 March 2012 at 21:07

    Way to go Emily! You must feel so proud of yourself. Look what you have achieved! (I love the colour you choose for the text as well. Yes I was excited when the All Blacks won the Rugby World Cup too!

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  4. Eleven On-Line29 March 2012 at 22:32

    Things I like: personal comments ("I love rugby), details ("I made an All Blag flag..."), and description ("My dad screamed at the TV...").

    Things I'd like to see improved: a diffrent beginning to "My name is Emily, all sentences beginning with capital letters, ending sentences with a full stop.

    Teach

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