On Friday night my family and I went to my cousins
party, we got to play on the bouncy castle it was so fun.
There where drinks and food they where good. But me and Tanykah
had to go to ripper rugby it was a lucky day because we won
the game.They got 14 tries and the other team got 7.
On Saturday my dad played a game of tackle rugby and it was a
bad day to play a game but they handled it.When me and my
friends where playing a game of tackle rugby and these dum
boys came over and says naughty words so I said go away but they didn't go so we left and got a pie it was delicious.
By Cheyenne
Well done for going away and doing something else when those boys came over Cheyenne.
ReplyDeleteYour writing is steadily improving Cheyenne, especially writing for the reader's understanding. It all makes sense,spelling is mostly accuarate, and punctuation isn't too bad. All the line breaks are a bit annoying though.
ReplyDeleteYou are also starting to add interest for the reader with personal comments (eg, "...it was delicious") and supporting main ideas with relevant details.
Teach